The letter

She sat down on the armchair and swivelled around on the seat for a few rounds. Facing the table, she glanced at the photograph displaying a picture of her and a man playing at the beach. Picking up the letter with delicate care, she looked at it, and tears started to well. Opening the letter, her eyes swept over the text once, and she started to read:

“Dear Lynn,
I am a friend of this person, who you know too. I will not name him, but after you read the whole letter, you will realise who he is. In the meantime, allow me to continue.

There are some things in life that cannot be ignored. I am spending time to write this because this friend of mine is going through a period in life, which he is feeling down. He is getting ignored by the girl that he loves deeply. And you guessed it – the girl is you.

Have you ever hear of all these quotes: “Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.”, ““Hey, are you busy?” or “Are you doing something” are two phrases that guys open a conversation with to stop from stammering on the phone.” or “If you are going to reject a guy, just do it. Don't say they are like a brother or just good friends, it just hurts even more.”? I am sure you have. But don’t they sound a bit too familiar?

You do realize that these quotes are, in one way or another, linked to both of you? That when you wanted to stop your relationship with him, you told him that he was more of a brother than a boyfriend?

You do realize that he always tries to call you, but the conversations always end awkwardly? This is happening right now. He tried to call you many times, and planned everything, yet he forgot everything and tried to remember when you picked up the call. But most of the time, this is not the case. He had a whole stack of paper showing all the planning, yet when he called, he only got to the mail box after a few moments of ringing. You ignored his calls, and never bothered to call back, or to leave a message behind.

Y­ou do realize that ­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­he frequently sends you short messages with his phone, most of them asking, “What are you doing now?” He wants to talk to you, but he always fails to do so. Doesn’t he always stammer on the phone when he talks to you? And what do all these prove?

It proves that you mean a lot to him. All these minor events that you dismissed had great impact on him, and all of these were down, black and white, in his diary, from the very moment you told him that he was more of a brother than a boyfriend. Don’t you realize that he is always trying to find topics to talk about with you? But what do you do? You ignore his messages and carry on with your own lonely life that rejects the person that, probably, is the one that cares the most about you.

I’m saying this as a good and best friend of him – try to accept him as a friend. Try to accept, not to reject, for this will do both parties good. If you do accept him, he will be happy, and ultimately, he will try his best to make you happy. He has only one wish, I know, which is to become good friends with you once more, for it is stated in his diary. I’m spending my time writing this to you with only one wish – to see my best friend live this period of time happily. He told me once that life is so meaningless. There is no excitement in his life, only sadness, and the only, and true happiness that he feels is seeing you enjoy your life. Here, he is sinking slowly into his abyss of melancholy, and there, you are ignoring him, letting the bottomless-pit become deeper, and letting the distance between you and him grow further and further. The only thing I wish to see now is to see you accepting him as a good friend once again.

This is what I sincerely hope for, and I hope you would not throw this message away. This is an action done by us, a group of best friends of his, in a bid to see the heavy burden in his heart lifted, and also, a wish to see you attain your true happiness. We leave you with one sentence – One must not reject love, but to accept, for only then can one savor the true taste of being loved.

Sincerely,

Best friends of the person mentioned

Sunday, 15th June, 2008.”

Lynn took of her glasses and sat there, and grief crashed onto her once more. She had been reading this letter everyday for the past thirty years of her life without fail.

Forget

He looked out at the sky. The sky, blue and dotted with pure, white clouds, were are contradiction to his feelings. He felt dark inside. Black. Thunder. Lightning. And it was not only today that he felt that way. Everyday, he would sit on the chair and his feelings would become down and melancholic. The feelings suffocate him, stuff him, engulf him like what he is feeling right now. At every moment, he would feel like crying. A few times he did, but most of the time he would never let the tears flow down. He knows that it is over. Nothing can be changed. From the day that she started to ignore him, he was thrown into his own world of darkness.

He knew he had to give up. He knew he could not go on like this, trying to win her back. But he knew he tried to forget her. He tried every kind of method to kill her off his memory, wipe her out. But nothing seemed to work. She just stayed, like a relentless pest, and nothing could drive her out. She literally was going to drive him crazy. He could not stand up from this defeat. In all his years of sprinting in his track and field team, this was the first time that he could not pick himself up from a fall. This was a fall that he could never recover from.

He remembered the times where they were still together. Third of February, he could still remember. His ex-classmates organized a birthday party at the East Coast Chalet for him. That day they played, ran, and laughed happily. He always glimpsed at her, searching for the smile which he always loved to see.

Fourth of February, that day was his birthday. He wanted to pop the question to her, the question that he already asked her several times. But he knew that this time was different. He knew that he was going to make it this time. He could still remember very clearly of what happened that day. He was sitting on the massage chair in his grandmother’s room. He slipped his phone out of his pocket, then he typed in, “Can I ask you a question?”

She replied, “What?”

He was nervous. “Actually, you should already know what it is le.”

He was scared of a rejection, but the reply was, “I dunno how to say this, but just think yourself.. Who do I sms everytime?”

His heart skipped a beat. “So.. it means that you agreed?”
“Dunno. =P”

From that day onwards, he was always optimistic. Anytime that he felt unhappy, he would tell her. And at the start it was okay. But he could never bring the courage to talk to her when they met again. Seemed that after he popped the question, they unwittingly created a invisble barrier between them. They started to float apart, letting the distance between them widen. He could not do anything to salvage the situation. Then it finally came. She told him that she wanted to stop it. He did not want to stop. But nothing he said could make her change her mind. He was depressed. He wanted to do something about it, but he could not rack his brains to think about anything. Then he realised something that he did not realise previously. She never once agreed to be with him. In the first place, she said she was not sure. He could not assume that it was a yes. No wonder she started to ignore his messages.

But then, he thought, she should have had made it clear. She should not have led him on blindly thinking that she was willing. She should have told him from the very start that she did not want it. This was the thing that made him sad, or angry, or both. It was the fact that she never made it clear to him, letting him live on believing that she had accepted him, giving him false hope.
She told him that she dropped hints. But he never realised them. Maybe the hints were done too half-heartedly. But he did not care. What was important was that she hurt him.
But, alas, it was all over. It still came back to same point after so much time wasted. It was back to a square one, and it could not go back. He never blamed her, and he knew that it was for the good for the both parties.

Third of November, he told himself that he had to forget her. He tried, and whether he did succeed or not, its for you to guess.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------EDIT: He did not. And he is trying to make things go back.

YOYOYO:D

Ok, im so very sorry that i haven posted for the last three weeks. But i was just too LAZY. Had to mug for tests, and my own personal time. So hadnt really wanted to post.

BUT NO WORRIES! Here i am!(: Actually there's nothing much to talk about oso. No interesting events. But got not interesting one. My msg is so screwed this term. -.- Not very pleasing results. No fear, im gonna get msg 1 for next term. Watch out HONYP! Stupid chinese teacher failing almost half the class. -.-

Nothing le. Ohya, our beloved cute Kong has left and our original teacher came back! Ok quite sad but not that sad too, cos i finally understand abit of whats chem(:

BYEBYE:D

YOYOYO:D

Ok everyone wish me happy bday:D:D:D Yeah, im officially 15 now! Which is a good thing or a bad thing :O First, I am older, more mature(ahems), and wiser(AHEMS). BUT. I have to do chin-ups for my napfa, which aint a good thing):

Nevermind, ohwell, super lot of angbaos for my bday. CNY angbaos plus bday angbaos = ALOT of angbaos:D Im going to get something i swear.

I cant believe that i actually done all the things i wanted to do previously that i dun dare to do(: One thing still not counted as accomplished, but it should be in a few days when i manage to obtain a letter:D AND I ACTUALLY MUGGED AT THE LIBRARY JUST NOW. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? ULTIMATE SLACKER JH ACTUALLY MUGGED ON HIS BDAY! JUST HOW AMAZING CAN THAT BE?:D:D:D

Thanks all those ppl who wished me happy bday, namely:
1. Samuel
2. Wee han
3. Javier
4. Bryan(Happy bday to you too!:D)
5. Raymond
6. Sean Tan
7. Jes
8. Valesha

Thankew those ppl!(:

BYEBYE:D

YOYOYO:D

Ok. Cny is finally over): Nothing to be happy about that is. Ban lak was one of the MAIN THINGS in CNY. yay(: Won 11 bucks in 2 days of banlak-ing. Quite fun when you keep on winning ahha.

My mum was pretty random this year, 400% of my previous year angbao:D But i would gladly accept it too hehe. Dunno what should i do with that moneh, maybe i should go buy a jacket or something. See how first.

I have a sad life. No excitement at all, nothing to do at home except to do homework, do until sian liao.

HAHA my baby cousin is so CUTE:D

My father: Cha cham bo! (He was watching the tv ad and sang it to my baby cousin)
Xiaomeimei(XMM): Mama?
Papa: Cha cham bo!
XMM: Mama?
Papa: Cha cham bo!
XMM: Mama?
Papa: Cha cham bo!
XMM: PAPA!
LOL. And she started crying and ran to my uncle after that. AHHA. I really should take some photos and post them! But JH is just TOO LAZY :/

Hais, later still got tuition. At 7. My MUM de somemore leh. Sians.

OHYAH, REMINDER. 4TH FEB IS A VERY IMPORTANT DAY, COS IS BEN XIAO DI'S BDAY. *Quite obvious hinting* :D Wednesday dun forget(:

Okay, gotta go prepare le.

BYEBYE:D

YOYOYO:D

Ok. Seriously too lazy to post these few days. Mah life is simply too boring. Anyway, went LIBRARY to MUG with sam and wee today:D Yeah, LIBRARY. Dunno go there MUG what oso(:

I cant believe that i can actually get 16 for my ying yong wen. I thought i was going to fail. -.- That stupid wee, scam me and sam, make us think that he mark until so jialat, actually is ok. -.-

Maths mock test was like shiat. So simple, i close mah eyes oso can do lah pls. Haiyo, this term sure A1 le lah, algebraic manipulation leh, last year topic, only got one is this year general formula nia. Lames oO

Kong our chem teacher is as CUTE as ever. No one ever seems to understand him LOL. And he loves to repeat. "An element is a substance that cannot be divided into simpler substances. So, an element is a substance that cannot be divided into simpler substances, so.." 6 times. LOL. He scared we dunno leh HAHA. And he was teaching that electronic config thing, then after he talk to himself for like 15 min, then he turn around and said, "So. Seeing stars?" LOL.

I gotta go.

BYEBYE:D

YOYOYO:D

Sorry for MIA-ing the past week. But i was just too lazy to post anything.

Nothing much to post about. I lead such a boring life.. School has been as usual, nothing much, just study, study, more study. What else can school be? Ohya, there was the pangseh-ing incident by wee and sam. Stupid assholes. But i forgot about it le(: I just cant bring myself to hate them, so i suan le:D

Training has been as usual, but the past few days i never go cos i have been having diarrheoa(i dunno how to spell ;x) and flu and cough. So it is like basically, im sick. And CNY is around the corner, dammit. Hopefully i can recover before CNY starts so i can enjoy the goodies as usual. But im gonna be damn fat after CNY ahha.

Nothing much lah. I seriously have boring life. Sometimes i really wish that something could happen so that at least i have something external to do. Not homework. Homework. More homework.

Super tired, just took my medicine.

BYEBYE:D